Do not worry about initiations or marriage. Your Innermost is in charge of your life, and will provide what you need when you need it. Focus instead on your psychology.
Identification
We need to understand with precision what identification means. In the first part of that term we see “identity.” So then the meaning becomes very obvious. We are finding our identity in that experience, in that emotion, in that thought, and in that sensation.
When we become very angry, we are identified with our anger, meaning that anger becomes our identity, our I. That anger has become a vampire, a tick, a leech that is sucking up the light, the consciousness, that energy that is flowing through us, and it is using that energy to feed itself, to make itself fatter, to make itself more powerful. This is the difficulty: Identification.
When we become identified, we give up our connection with God.
Identification is the state of psychological sleep. It is a state in which the consciousness has become hypnotized and trapped by a desire.
Genesis 4: 13-15
Cain was labouring with the earth (five senses, subjective reasoning), and God always rejected his offerings. What were these offerings?
And Cain said unto Jehovah Elohim, My punishment (that is the subjective reasoning) is greater than I can bear.
Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the (Edenic) earth; and from thy face shall I be hid (within the Intellect); and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth (Physical Body); and it shall come to pass, that every one that finds me (through meditation) shall slay me.
And Jehovah Elohim said unto him, (it wont be so easy) therefore whosoever slays Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold (he will pay the karma of his seven capital sins). – Genesis: 4:13,15
The mind is the den of the ego. The ego is seven, the ego is mind, Cain is mind, the seven capital sins.
Subjective and Objective Mind
Within our infra-consciousness we have our past origins related with our animal mind, our ego. Here is where we find the protoplasmic bodies – the bodies that nature gives us, to pass through the plant, mineral, animal kingdoms in our evolution. This is the mind-matter that serves evolution and devolution.
Reasoning starts to develop in the human kingdom with the purpose of creating Objective Reasoning, but because of fornication and the development of the ego we have subjective reasoning related with the five senses, a reasoning that has nothing to do with the Spirit. The subjective reasoning is useless for the things beyond the physical senses.
Cain is related with this sensual mind, the mind that uses only the five physical senses. The subjective mind (Cain) steals the power of intuition, of the consciousness, in order to develop its intellectual subjective knowledge through subjective reasoning.
To develop objective reasoning you have to develop conscious faithfulness.
The mind that is connected with the Spirit gives the knowledge of the Spirit.